


What Would It Matter Now

by FoxFaith



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura had been kidnapped, Blue wants them to stop hurting, Character Study, F/M, Feels, Healing, Hugs, Insecurities, KIND of canon, Langst, Lanura, Mostly platonic but if you look harder, Songs, They came for her, Venting?, damn emotions, everyone is hurting, good ending, small moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 02:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10427328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxFaith/pseuds/FoxFaith
Summary: Allura knew that he wasn't looking for forgiveness by the way he spoke. It was a confession made out of a weakness for wanting to be accepted as a mistake. But he wasn't a mistake, not to her at least and she was sure not to the rest of the team either.  It prompted her to be honest in the light of his bravery, it took a lot to admit one's faults like that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had wanted to post this in 'Color Theory' but it doesn't really fit the theme of it, despite having some vague connecting elements. To be honest this 'one-shot' came out of no where. It feels good to write after so long though.

“Blue oooooOoooo oh so lonesome for you. Why can't you be blue over me?” Lance sang while entering his hanger, ready to greet his number one lady for a bit of a pick-me-up. The rest of the team was strung tight from the most recent mission and needed some space from his intense personality, he could take a hint.

They hadn't lost anyone on the mission, in fact they had rescued Allura safe and sound, the lions were all in order, Voltron was on stand by to save another day. Physically, no one was hurt but no one could say otherwise on what was going through their heads. Sharing the same mind while fused as Voltron had put all of that on the table. 

The connections between the pilots sounded somewhat like the joke told in 'Space Balls'. 

'I am the rival of your best friend whose a half alien of the species that kidnapped my best friend's friend's brother and father, who turned out to be a girl in a group who all fought for another alien species on the verge of extinction because the former alien people turned out to be ruled by a tyrant. And we all pilot giant robot, sentient lions with color coordinated outfits and we all form a bigger robot with a name that belongs on a cereal box in the 1990's.' Who knew really?

The hilarity of it all wasn't lost on him and certainly not to the rest of the team, yet here they were, stuck in the realization that they were the only sword and shield fighting to defend the universe and her people. 

More than that, Lance thinks, they fought for each other, not only because the lions picked them specifically for themselves and wouldn't accept anyone else so easily but also because all of them were linked somehow. And the bonds only got stronger the longer and harder they pushed on to get each other home, sometimes never completely whole in one piece but as much as they could salvage in each other.

They were soldiers, paladins with iron hearts and blazing ambitions on the frontier until they got home. Then like Lance, they were hallow shells cracked open and stitched together using the red strings of fate. Their hearts were concrete lumps in their throats when trying to speak about feelings shared together in the heat of battle and their veins were filled with acid that dripped molten in their stomachs when the faces of the dead stole their sleep away. 

Yes, everything was a comedy but more than that, it was a tragedy. Only the small moments made everything worth it. Another strange notion to him; such a large war fought to preserve the most intimate connections that was of little value to anyone else but to whom it pertained to.

Lance made note of the scratches on Blue's smooth indigo hide. 4 hours ago, with him at her controls, she had dashed in front of a blast heading for Greene. The burn marks scorched a black smear over her right eye and over her shoulder.

When Lance was only 16, his uncle had visited his family with his dirty, powder blue 1968 Shelby Mustang, whose paint job had seen better days. Ironically, his uncle had named the car 'Ol' Blue'. Lance remembered how a gentle sponge and a bucket of water had lifted the years away from the car, emerging him in her era. As if he was in some 1960's movie, with a leather jacket, sunglasses and a blond bunny in his back seat while Elvis blasted out of his stereo speakers, on a hill over looking a small town he swore to leave behind. All for the sake of making it big in the city.

Something like that, Lance thinks as he grabs the sponge and bucket of water to work the mustang's magic over Blue. 

“Sweetheart, can you lay down for me?” Lance called up. The lion turned her head soundlessly towards him. A swath of watercolors breathed life into the feelings Blue flooded his mind with. He paused, closing his eyes to soak it all in.

Like an over grown dog, the massive bulk of her chest eased to the deck plates of her hanger, minding where she placed her feet to avoid hurting her pilot. Blue laid her head down over her front paws and shifted the weight of her hind quarters to her left hip. She looked very comfortable.

Once she was settled, Lance crawled up onto her paw to start washing the scorches off her face. Blue hummed in his head pleasantly the entire time, greatly appreciating her pilot's concern with restoring her beauty. Blue was a vain creature, Lance only wished that she could benefit from a full facial like he did but that would take a lot of product and they don't grow space cucumbers that big.

Over time, Lance scrubbed a blue patch through the black soot and found himself singing while ringing out the dark water into the bucket. The song was a classic and was known to be strum across every guitar string from coast to coast by an amateur’s fingers, yet for him, it was the words that meant the most.

“...I reckon it's again my turn, to win some or learn some...” And on he sang under his breath, quiet so that no one would hold it against him if they didn't like his voice.

Blue didn't mind though, in return she thrummed colorful emotions through their link in time with his lyrics and rhythm. It was like listening to the song on his head phones for the first time, because the song was unpredictable and perfect. 

“...but I can't wait no more, no more. It cannot wait....” He took a breath to carry the next note. “ I'm Yours.” Lance pressed his forehead to the clean spot against Blue's brow. She answered by tilting her head, pushing air through her vents, as if to lean into him, sighing in contentment. 

He smiled and kept humming his tune while working the wet sponge over her face, widening the clean patch of metal through the dirt. 

When the water in his bucket was impossibly black, he jumped down from her paw to empty it into the drain in a supply closet opposite from the work bench at the far end of the hanger. A gush of water came from the faucet into the bucket, while Lance stood still humming waiting for the water's level to reach the top.

A shadow washed over the closet, 'I'm Your's' dying in his throat. He turned around to see the least likely of people to seek him out. Or so he thought, given his perceived opinion she had of him thanks to their awkward first meeting four months ago. She had let it go, getting over the relatively minor incident but it lingered on in his head, that she would never see him as a warrior like Shiro or Keith, just because he couldn't help but to be bad at first impressions and not thinking before saying stupid things.

“Hi Princess.” He paused, minding the creeping water level, giving her time to gather whatever it was she needed to collect in order to say something. 

She knew that this was an off moment for them, especially for her. Lance was naturally social and found himself in his interactions with others, his validation among them his center point, yet for her, someone naturally in a position of authority, it was odd to seek anyone out. Allura was expected to stand on her own, in sheer confidence, finding herself in the late hours awake and alone, as her mind spun around while she worked on something unrelated, trying to understand it all.

So, yes, this was an abstract moment, given the fact that it had been only hours ago that she had been rescued but Lance didn't think that she came here to talk about that. He knew that he didn't but would if she really wanted to. Anything to help her where he could.

Allura's eyes flickered to his face back and forth, her lip caught under itself struggling with what to say. Eventually, she concluded that saying nothing at all was best and turned to leave. Lance caught her long sleeve, halting her.

“You alright?” It was meant to be only for this moment in time, yet it was such a loaded question. Was she okay from being held prisoner by the Galra for 48 hours, was she okay on the level of seeking him out because he felt like he was least qualified with this sort of thing or was she okay in general.

“There's just been a lot going on.” She said still an able to look him in the eyes. Not for the fear of his pity or judgment but because she was meant to be something more to him as his leader, yet she stood before him raw and unable to get across what she wanted. Company. 

A small laugh escaped him. “That's an understatement.” He breathed, trying to strike up a context to the barely surviving conversation between them.

She obviously wasn't going to supply the power for it, so Lance took the reins for her. He wants to think that she looked grateful for it, that he opened up his presents for her to walk in, even though it was unnatural and off balanced beyond her just giving him orders. He was more than that, it just wasn't in her lately to see it. It was how a lot of commanding officers were in a time of war. Allura didn't hate him, she just didn't understand him beyond his surface personality.

“Do you want to help me wash Blue?” Lance offered. He didn't understand her beyond the control deck either but he did understand the want to escape away from it sometimes. That was evident enough.

“Sure.” She said plucking an extra sponge off the wall. It was a simple move on her part.

Lance couldn't help but to watch the way her elegant arms raised up to swirl the length of her thick hair into a bun on top of her head, with her eyes closed, mindful of her catching him staring. She would look good with short hair too, like a pixy cut he notes but she's in her element even with purple skin, dirt and bruises on her cheek. A real warrior by mind and unfazed by the grime of war. Lance was almost jealous of her for it. 

To him, he looked like a skinny tween with a 'Super Soaker' making blaster noises on his parents' front lawn, and compared to her, Shiro and maybe Keith, he may as well be just that. And he wasn't the smartest or the most kind. Lance was just kind of there, drifting in a reactive state because he felt like he lacked any contribution to be proactive. Never mind that he was the soul pilot of Blue and was the one to draw out her full potential. He just wasn't able to see it in himself yet and maybe he never would given the limitations he put in his mind.

“Ready?” She asked, looking like a salty field operative in one of his video games back home, a character with a deep personality from all of her trials and adversities. Lance may have not been able to get lost in the depth of his own seemingly shallow existence but he could get lost in someone like her's. He thanked whatever being or force struck life into the universe for this moment, it made him want to break the silent mood by dancing. Life was kind of wonderful like that. 

-

Lance was getting the last of the smears off Blue's face when he looked at Allura's progress. Thus far, on her own, she had cleaned over half of the lion's shoulder with many trips to refill her bucket with clean water. 

He noted that no one had come looking for them. The team must have assumed that they had wanted space for themselves or space away from....he swallowed, it was a hard thing even to say in his mind but time away from him. So to speak yet, he looked up watching the princess preened silently to Blue, who was soaking up the attention like the big old cat she was. He just hoped that he wouldn't find a giant space pigeon dead in his slippers in the form of her gratitude or something.

All else aside, the silence had led the paladin's mind to wonder and for some reason, it was begging him to make things right with Allura. He knew that she had let it go and even joked about it back with him when ever he mocked flirting with her but the spike of anxiety was still spearing him. 

There wasn't going to be an opportunity like this for a while for sure, however, he held himself back. She had been through enough and didn't need his insecurity on top of all that.

“I don't ever think that I've seen you this quiet Lance.” Aside from him being unconscious in a healing pod for three days, then no, she hasn't. They can agree with that. “Are you doing well?” Didn't he already asked her this question before?

“It's just as you said. A lot has happened and it's hard to take it all in.” He said finding another stray streak to scrub off. Allura looked at him in question, a tiny strand of her hair slipping out of her lazy bun beside her brow. 

“Shiro told me that this is the first time you've been in space and learned that there's extra life in the universe. Is this true for all humans on Earth?” She asked realizing she had to take responsibility for breaking the quiet or it would get awkward again. Besides, the distraction was welcome.

Lance looked up at the ceiling smiling almost in an ironic sense. “I think that most humans unconsciously knew that there was more life out here, given the evidence and stuff but it's not common knowledge.” He snorted out of his nose thinking about what his family would say to all of this.

“It must have been quite a fright for you then.” She stated clinically minding the sweeping movement of the sponge in her hand over Blue's shoulder. The big cat was mostly asleep or in stasis, if Lance bothered with the technical terms as he felt his lion's mind drifting around like a goldfish in a bowl.

“It wasn't so bad knowing that some aliens are like you and Coran. I can deal with it knowing that much.” He smirked at her leaning against the lion's head arms crossed, who was now awake watching them talk.

Allura tucked the stray hair behind her left ear and looked at him.”Well, I have to say that you left a rather interesting impression of man-kind upon Coran and myself when we first met.” There wasn't any sting to her words, only light amusement yet...

No, no, no. I didn't mean for the conversation to go this way. You don't need to deal with this too. I'm sorry.

Lance's arms dropped from across his chest to his sides as he got to his feet and turned away. So she did remember him fucking up their first meeting. Why does he always do that? Why can't he stop himself from saying stupid things? What is wrong with him?

He really couldn't stop himself. “Hey Allura,..” She can only see the curve of his cheek and his eyelash as he speaks over his shoulder. “... I'm sorry for treating you like that. I... “ He pauses being mindful of saying too much. What would it matter now?

”… I know that I'm difficult to deal with because I take forever to learn anything useful and I'm not always the most tactful when being an ambassador of our cause, embarrassing all of you. But still, I'm sorry.”

Allura knew that he wasn't looking for forgiveness by the way he spoke. It was a confession made out of a weakness for wanting to be accepted as a mistake. But he wasn't a mistake, not to her at least and she was sure not to the rest of the team either. It prompted her to be honest in the light of his bravery, it took a lot to admit one's faults like that.

“I'm sorry too.” She spoke in solidarity.” I'm sorry for my temper and for putting the mission above the team's well being. The things you all have seen because of my orders, I can never take that back and you will likely never forget it.” She's biting her lip now hushing herself from crying. This was the time the realization of her capture was washing over her and it left her exposed before the world. 

He looks back at her suddenly, as if her words were coming from God's lips to be written in scripture. By the blue of his eyes and the open expression on his face, she believes that he wasn't expecting her to say that.

“You.....I.” He swallows down the fear and the sliver of guilt. The impulse to hug her was strong but after all she's been through, it might be too much. He really wasn't qualified for this.

Blue, whined through her frame beneath them feeling the tension. Allura comforted her with a hand on her neck. “I'm okay Blue. It's been a long day for all of us huh?” She asked looking into the lion's large yellow eye, to distract herself from breaking down. Blue pushed air through the vents on her nose, growling low in agreement.

“Allura, I'm sorry about what happened to you. If I had been more of a warrior or something, we could have saved you from....” He knew what had happened to her. Her body was fine now but Pidge had hacked the video feed from her cell on the surveillance cam, let's just say they had arrived a half hour too late to save her from all of it.

Words, Lance you know what those are. Use them. He was choking on them. Fuck all of his problems and her pain, smashed together here in a room made into a twisted, ugly mosaic of the shattered pieces of what they were.

The sponge fell to the ground from Allura's hands. She made the leap to Blue's muzzle easily and took Lance in to her arms and pressed him against her chest. He was stunned, his mind reeling from it. Blue gave his mind a gentle nudge, knocking him loose from the tailspin. He wound his arms against her back and hugged her fully, communicating where his words had failed him.

“It's not your fault. It's not the team's fault.” She breathed into his temple after a time hoping this was helping him. “You came for me and that's enough.” She embraced him tighter knowing that if she could shove their wounds face to face, it might shield them long enough to heal. So, they stayed like that for a little while.

He absorbed her words into his core, feeling something in his mind shift for the first time in four months. Everything that he had said, all the things that he couldn't get right the first time and all of the things he thought he would never be didn't matter any more. She was safe and in turn, this silently crept into his mind.

No, he might never be a mighty warrior seasoned by the scars on his skin even though he wore them all the same, nor by the aim of his gun, although it got better by a bit each day, this right here was enough of a reason to be apart of Voltron. To make sure that the victims of these circumstances got home by whatever it was he could offer to them.


End file.
